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Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in Steve's LiveJournal:

Monday, July 16th, 2007
2:42 am
LOL, i was such a bitch.
Sunday, October 8th, 2006
11:53 pm
im sooo happy
my sadness is turning into anger
9:31 pm
my mind is having a civil war.
Monday, October 2nd, 2006
2:27 pm
I like to steal survey-esque things from angela
Random Songs on iTunes & What They Mean to Me

1) "Every Little Thing" by Hawk Nelson
This song (or rather, this band) reminds me of Cruzando, the very first noght, when we were all hype about being there. Before we went down, I looked at the list of artists that would be performing at the Alamodome, and I saw Hawk Nelson's picture and thought "they look hot". After that, I downloaded some songs,a nd decided I liked their sound. So on the first night, they played and I loved them. I miss Cruzando.

2) "Ich Will" by Rammstein
Dennis put a Rammstein song on one of the Doogen Meyers that he made me, and I liked it. Since I dont listen to much music, and I liked their sound, I had Den burn an entire Rammstein CD for me.

3) "Climbing Up The Walls" by Radiohead
I know how much Angela loves Radiohead, so I asked her to let me listen to some songs. She sent me this one, and I immediatly fell in love with it. It reminds me of the abandoned mental hospital on the way to Neshaminy, off of the boulevard. It also reminds me of spiders.

4) "Sympathetic" by Seether
This song just reminds me of when Seether was my favorite band.

5) "Red XIII's Theme" by Nobuo Uematsu
OMG this reminds me of when you first got to Cosmo Canyon in Final Fantasy VII, when Red XIII ran away to see his human (?) grandfather, Bugenhagen. Then I found out that his real name was Nanaki, and I was so mad because I hated the name Red XIII, and I loved Nanaki, but even though that was his name, they still called him Red XIII >:(

6) "Fear" by Disturbed
I hate this song. Its so fuckign annoying and stupid. It reminds me of freshmen day, in 9th grade, when Jack and I were in gym listening to Disturbed together and it was cool, except that every single day after that, he would come over to me and put his headphone to my ear (it being disturbed, usually this song) as if I gave a shit, and he would smile at me OMG SO ANNOYING.

7) I dont feel like doing any more lol
Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
4:27 pm
Your Political Profile:
Overall: 20% Conservative, 80% Liberal
Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

lol, im liberal
Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
8:04 pm
My mom has always been the perfect alarm clock. For years, she would make sure I was awake in time for school. Of course, I never liked getting up for school.
But my mother managed it, probably because she can be so damn annoying when she wants to be. She would shake me and tell me to get up, then leave the room to get dressed. As if on a timer, she would tell me to get up ever minute or so, she didnt scream it, which was probably the worst thing. She would tell me, her voice would start off quiet and with each word she said, she got a little louder. It was annoying, cause just when I thought I could fall back asleep, she would say it again.
After I'd had enough of it, I would get up, throw my uniform pants on, my uniform shirt, tuck it in, and rinse my mouth out with Lysterine (i was too lazy to brush). When she saw me, she would smile sweetly while in her scrubs and say something like "good morning, sweety" as if she hadnt been torturing me ten minutes before.
My school was on the way to her work, so I would get a ride to school, (not that i needed one, seeing as i was perfectly capable of walking). Sometimes, I would get there earlier than school started (8:15am) so I would hang out in Morning Extended Care.
I wouldnt be there long, mind you, cause I didnt get up THAT early. (it started at 7:00am, an unheard of morning hour to me, at the time). I could always count on Brit being there though, she always amazed me with her ability to rise so easily in the morning.
Anyway, I could always count on her (and usually Joey, too) to be there watching Transformers in the parish house. Bill showed up on occasion too, but it was normally Brit and Joe. Joey Kuhar was my best friend for a while in grade school. He was a pretty cool guy, and I think I had a tiny crush on him at one point, but nothing serious. He was so hyper though, and that kinda irritated me sometimes.
Then, we would get kicked out of the parish house and onto the fields to wait till we could go inside the building. We would line up by class to go inside, and the quietest line would go first, and the loudest would go last. Keeping quiet sounds simple, now, but back then, it was a chore. I remember one time I was arguing with Jimmy in line, whispering, and the argument got so intense that we were almost screaming. Our line went in last, and everyone gave us the evil eye. The classes that went first would often brag too, sticking their tongues out at the other lines, as a sign of their victory.
The grade below us was always the worst. They were just so obnoxious and rude. Although, back then, mixing between grades was almost unheard of. Barely anyone was friends with people in the other grades. At least for me, anyway. Looking back, I wish it wasnt like that, cause it was stupid. Now look at me! I have tons of friends that are Alumni, Seinors, and Sophmores.
Well....Acuaintences, really. I've been trying to keep my spelling and grammar up in this, but I'm too fucking lazy to look that word up and see if its spelled correctly. Sue me.
In Redeemer, because you didnt associate much with other grades, and your classes were less than 25 kids, you got very intimate with your own grade. Even if you didnt like some people much, you knew them really well, and you knew what made them tick.
This one kid, Josh Newton, I hated that kid, he was annoying as fuck and he was also a snobby, whiney bitch. If I knew the kid now, I prolly wouldnt mess with him, because I couldnt bring myself to consiously bully someone. But back then, man, did I love pushing his buttons. I was a Detention away from being suspended in 4th grade because of him.
One time, he even called me gay. I know, right? I remember exactly what he said, still. He said "So, Steve, have you had any lasting relationships with men lately?" You could just tell he was a stuck up prick by how he talked.
I always knew I was gay, but the thought of coming out to my friends an family was horrifying. I remember having a 'crush' on two girls in the grades above me. Brittney Heffner, and Shannon Lochner. I guess that foreshadowed my future taste in men, seeing as one was Asian and both were Gothic.
I also dated Britany for, like, a year. But that relationship was a joke. A really, really funny, ironic joke. I could pretend to be straight, and have a relationship with someone I really cared about, at the same time. It was also perfect, cause Brit never wanted to make out or hold hands or any of that stuff. I was safe.
I also dated Janelle, but that, regretably, ended vfery shortly after it had begun. Even at an ealry age, the Drama was constant. Especially around Hollis Hancock.
Now theres a girl I wouldnt mind hitting. Probably because she could probably defend herself better than some guys I know. She was a beast of a girl, even in 4th or 5th grade. I even saw her recently this summer, and shes still got a few inches on me.
I remember how she would play Basketball and tear up the court. Now, I never watched the games, sports always bored me, but from what I was told, she was a serious threat to everyone on the court, including her team mates.
One time, she roally fucked up this girl Erica's knee, playing. Now, Erica sustained a major injury, and wasnt able to play basketball for a while after that. The best part was that Erica was on Hollis's team. I dont recall if Hollis got in trouble or not, but I highly doubt it. She had the coach (Mr. Hoffman) eating out of the plam of her hand. He was tight with her parents, thats why.
Urgh, her parents. No, scratch that, her Mother. What a bitch. I remember, in 8th grade, I was working on the Yearbook after school with Brit, Janelle, and Bill. At the time, Hollis had done something really stupid, i forget exactly what it was. But the Entire class had a meeting on it, cause it caused a lotta drama.
OH! duh, how could I forget. It was The Valentine's dance. People were voting for a King and a Queen. I think I might have been the original King, I forget, but I remember Hollis had tried to rig the voting so she would win Queen. It was obvious she rigged it, too, so the judges just gave the titles and prizes to our guests (i forget what school it was, but it didnt matter)
Anyway, when she was confronted about it, Hollis denied everything and cried like a baby. This prompted the Teachers to call a class meeting in Mrs. Kruvczuk's room. I remember this one bitch teacher, Mrs Meder, just waltzin in like she owned the room, sitting in Mrs. K's chair, and started eating a fucking Chocolate bar. The issue was addressed, and everyone really avoided it, except Bill. Bill spoke out what everyone wanted to say and got Hollis in trouble (provolking more tears form her).
Anyway, we were at yearbook, right?
Dont you know, Hollis's mom walks in and takes Bill out in the hallway and chews him out realllll good. What a bitch. I remember standing really close to the doorway so i could hear the conversation. How low can you get? A grown woman, reprimanding an 8th grader for something that should have been done. Bill's dad flipped out about that. I forget the details of the issues, but there was always tension between those sets of parents.
Bill's dad always had him busy, with 8756876 sports at a time and such. Bill never really had time to hang out with us, cause there was always a game the next day and he needed his sleep. It was so bad, that he didnt feel like a friend anymore. He was also drifting into the drama that was the grade below us, which really upset Janelle, cause she was in on that drama too, cause her sister was in that grade.
Toward the end of 8th grade, Janelle chewed him out reall good, yelling at him for being an asshole and such. He hurt her the much, I think. She had a crush on him, and he refused to go out with her because she was half black. What a dick, right?
She yelled at him, it was during the Fair. Every year, at the end, Redeemer had a Fair on its grounds. We (the 8th graders) had already graduated, but were still allowed to attend. She told him that she would bet a hundred bucks that none of us (Me, Her, Brit, ect) would see him again after that day.
She was right.
I havent seen or heard from him since that day.
He was the first friend that suddenly dissappeared out of my life, but it was ok, cause it didnt hurt that much. I dunno why, but losing friends back then didnt hurt that much.
But lemme tell ya something..
It sure hurts a hell of a lot now.
Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006
1:50 am
i really cant deal with this bullshit anymore
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
11:43 pm
im going down the shore tomorrow.

i really hope things dont get fucked up like i know they probably will
Saturday, July 29th, 2006
2:21 pm
im single.
and extreemly happy
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
6:17 pm
im in a pleasent mood.
but i can feel the bad creeping up on me. in 4 different areas.
this is not good.
i pray to God that i stay happy for as long as possible, before i have to deal with the shit looming on the horizon.
12:05 pm
Im an Uncle Again!!!!

My sister just had their second kid, a girl named Gia

12:41 am
back from San Antonio.
Damn. What a trip.
For Those Unaware, It was a National Youth Gathering for the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (the ELCA). It was for High-School aged kids (there were 1600 of us)

The Airplane rides (to and fro) were horrible and completely killed a day and a half. :(. SOuthwest lost my fucking bag on the way down, and when i got it back (that night) everything was wet. also, not a single flight (all 4 of them) were on time. i hate Southwest Airlines.

We got there on Wednsday and i was SO TIRED. we went to the Convention Center to register for the Youth Gathering, and I fell asleep on the floor. Afte rthat we wandered around the city. That night, we Gathered in the Alamodome to hear speakers and listen to bands play (Hawk Nelson played that night, teh Next night were the amazing Katinas, and the third night the Newsboys played <333). We got to meet up with our friends from Calvary (in Long Island).

The days blur together from there. In the mornings, we had bible studies in the Alamodome with Pastor Steve Bond, who was funny as shit (lol, Rubber Ball Olympics/Gnus). During the day we would try to do as much as we could (there were tons of Workshops at the Convwention Center, we only did 3 lol) McDonalds and Subway had to close down for a day because they ran out of food, there were so many of us.

Also, we learned things about the Teenage, Lutheran Male.
1) 9 out of 10 are incredibly attractive
2) They like Congo Lines
3) They enjoy wearing Plaid Shorts
4) They can not dance to save their lives
5) When 'dancing', said boys jump up and down the entire time.

On my Birthday, we ate at Chili's (amazing Quesedillas). did the gathering stuff, and then went to see PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN TWO <33333333333333333333333
omg it was amazing. it didnt top the first (obv) but that is in no way a negative indication of the movie.

Overall? It was amazing. Ill prolly come back and edit this entry to detail it farther.
Friday, June 30th, 2006
3:08 am
Im making a webcomic with angela

Friday, June 16th, 2006
9:04 pm
I love venting. I feel so much better.

Epitaph2o3 (8:02:08 PM): did tannen leave today?
Alikat 545 (8:02:34 PM): i didn't see him at all, i only saw frank, joyce, sami, and grace
Epitaph2o3 (8:02:43 PM): he left for greece today
Epitaph2o3 (8:03:02 PM): hopefully, when he comes back, we'll be better
Alikat 545 (8:03:59 PM): oh... way to say goodbye to me
Alikat 545 (8:04:13 PM): i didn't even know he was leaving today
Epitaph2o3 (8:04:18 PM): mm
Epitaph2o3 (8:04:26 PM): well, you arent liz, so why should he say bye to you?
Alikat 545 (8:04:43 PM): ouch
Alikat 545 (8:05:00 PM): is she the only person he actually sed bye to ?
Epitaph2o3 (8:05:09 PM): i woudlnt be surprised
Epitaph2o3 (8:05:17 PM): but i know he has some sort of soul
Alikat 545 (8:05:18 PM): did he say bye to u?
Epitaph2o3 (8:05:19 PM): so prolly not
Epitaph2o3 (8:05:27 PM): i havent talked to him since tuesday
Alikat 545 (8:05:34 PM): wow
Alikat 545 (8:05:37 PM): really?
Epitaph2o3 (8:05:39 PM): mmhmm
Epitaph2o3 (8:05:57 PM): i didnt see him at all wednsday or thursday
Epitaph2o3 (8:06:00 PM): and today i cut
Alikat 545 (8:06:20 PM): his loss
Epitaph2o3 (8:06:38 PM): yea
Epitaph2o3 (8:06:48 PM): i IMd him twice last night and he didnt respond
Alikat 545 (8:06:56 PM): that fucker!
Epitaph2o3 (8:07:02 PM): i dont care
Epitaph2o3 (8:07:04 PM): i know he hates me
Alikat 545 (8:07:12 PM): hates you?!
Alikat 545 (8:07:21 PM): why would he hate u?
Epitaph2o3 (8:07:29 PM): cause he decided he wanted more friends
Epitaph2o3 (8:07:37 PM): and put our friendship on hold
Epitaph2o3 (8:07:47 PM): and i was angry and was being a sarcastic bitch to him
Epitaph2o3 (8:07:52 PM): and i guess he got fed up with it
Alikat 545 (8:08:32 PM): there's nothing wrong with wanting more friends, but he just went about it completely the wrong way
Epitaph2o3 (8:08:45 PM): it is my fault though
Alikat 545 (8:08:48 PM): no
Epitaph2o3 (8:08:48 PM): to some extent
Alikat 545 (8:09:57 PM): how is it your fault? if i had a bff like you, i would NEVER want to give that up
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:08 PM): i get jealous really fast
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:14 PM): so when he started chillin with other people
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:22 PM): i was nasty and sarcastic about it
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:27 PM): and i shouldnt have been
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:31 PM): even though he deserves it
Alikat 545 (8:10:33 PM): he could have included u
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:40 PM): yea, but i dont play vollyball
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:43 PM): i dont play hackisac
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:46 PM): what good am i?
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:50 PM): seriously
Epitaph2o3 (8:10:56 PM): i have no physical talent in anyhting
Alikat 545 (8:10:58 PM): you're a good friend
Epitaph2o3 (8:11:01 PM): why should he hang around me
Alikat 545 (8:11:04 PM): a good person
Epitaph2o3 (8:11:10 PM): not good enough, apparantly
Alikat 545 (8:11:17 PM): and a good looker ;-)
Epitaph2o3 (8:11:20 PM): i can never live up to panzio
Epitaph2o3 (8:11:24 PM): or christina
Epitaph2o3 (8:11:29 PM): or peter
Alikat 545 (8:11:32 PM): w/e, fuck them all
Epitaph2o3 (8:11:45 PM): and everyone knows that NO ONE can live up to being as amazing as liz
Alikat 545 (8:11:53 PM): HAHHAHAHAHAHAH
Alikat 545 (8:11:55 PM): AAHAHAHAHHAHA
Alikat 545 (8:11:59 PM): AHHAHAHAHAH
Epitaph2o3 (8:12:00 PM): like seriously
Epitaph2o3 (8:12:05 PM): shes SO NICE
Epitaph2o3 (8:12:08 PM): and SO ATTRACTIVE
Epitaph2o3 (8:12:14 PM): and she isnt selfish AT ALL
Epitaph2o3 (8:12:32 PM): and she def isnt a dirty, cheating whore
Epitaph2o3 (8:12:46 PM): i mean, shes so perfect
Epitaph2o3 (8:12:56 PM): god, i wish i were her
Alikat 545 (8:13:07 PM): if u were her, I'D FUCKING CUT
Alikat 545 (8:13:09 PM): YOU
Epitaph2o3 (8:13:11 PM): because then, everyone would love me
Epitaph2o3 (8:13:19 PM): and i would have lap dogs
Epitaph2o3 (8:13:23 PM): to do everyhting i say
Epitaph2o3 (8:13:40 PM): even if it involves hurting their friends, they will do it anyway, cause i willed it to be so
Alikat 545 (8:13:41 PM): i would never want to be her
Alikat 545 (8:14:11 PM): i would rather be the person getting hurt than the one doing the hurting
Alikat 545 (8:14:16 PM): weird as that sounds
Epitaph2o3 (8:14:19 PM): oh, and you know what else?
Alikat 545 (8:14:29 PM): b/c i know i'm above that
Epitaph2o3 (8:14:31 PM): she has a crush on the most amazing GUY in the world too
Alikat 545 (8:14:36 PM): dan
Epitaph2o3 (8:14:37 PM): his name is Dan
Epitaph2o3 (8:14:48 PM): he is not a dirty whore that fucks girls like zia
Epitaph2o3 (8:14:56 PM): he accually cares about girl's feelings
Epitaph2o3 (8:15:03 PM): he doesnt judge you the second he sees you
Epitaph2o3 (8:15:11 PM): he def doensnt only think of himself
Epitaph2o3 (8:15:22 PM): and he definatly is an awesome kisser with a huge penis
Epitaph2o3 (8:15:56 PM): (he kisses like a fish having a seizure, and hes about 4.5 inches)
Epitaph2o3 (8:16:14 PM): he def didnt take my ex boyfriend's virginity
Epitaph2o3 (8:16:26 PM): he def didnt screw over (at least) 5 girls in teh time that i knew him
Epitaph2o3 (8:16:28 PM): (7 months)
Alikat 545 (8:16:35 PM): omfg
Epitaph2o3 (8:16:39 PM): and he is definatly attractive
Epitaph2o3 (8:16:56 PM): what else?
Epitaph2o3 (8:17:17 PM): oh, hes a good friend, cause he NEVER ditches his friends to fuck some whore (notzia)
Alikat 545 (8:17:35 PM): steve, are so fucking funny when you're pissed and being sarcastic
Alikat 545 (8:17:42 PM): wait alex or dan?
Epitaph2o3 (8:17:46 PM): dan
Epitaph2o3 (8:18:00 PM): alex is not worthy of being mentioned with dan
Epitaph2o3 (8:18:14 PM): alex accually has flaws! =-O
Alikat 545 (8:18:26 PM): lol
Epitaph2o3 (8:18:32 PM): dan and liz are the most perfect people ever
Alikat 545 (8:18:53 PM): they fucking deserve each other
Epitaph2o3 (8:19:18 PM): and im definatly not wanting them to hook up so dan can fuck liz over
Epitaph2o3 (8:19:20 PM): oh no
Epitaph2o3 (8:19:24 PM): why would i even think that?
Epitaph2o3 (8:19:29 PM): its not like it would ever happen
Epitaph2o3 (8:19:32 PM): cause dan is such a good person
Alikat 545 (8:19:58 PM): <3
Epitaph2o3 (8:20:06 PM): i wanna vent some more, but i ran out of things to say
Epitaph2o3 (8:20:34 PM): which is hard, casue they both have so many things about them that make them amazing
Alikat 545 (8:20:44 PM): well i'm listening
Epitaph2o3 (8:21:15 PM): like, alex is so lucky, you know?
Epitaph2o3 (8:21:27 PM): to leive and breathe liz's every want and need
Epitaph2o3 (8:21:49 PM): im so amazed that she accually decends from upon high to accually give him teh time of day
Epitaph2o3 (8:22:22 PM): and its so kind of her to let him have friends
Epitaph2o3 (8:22:26 PM): sure, she can be mean to them
Epitaph2o3 (8:22:32 PM): but she has the right
Epitaph2o3 (8:22:38 PM): because shes so much better then them, you know?
Alikat 545 (8:22:59 PM): oh, totally, i felt honored just to be in her presence
Alikat 545 (8:23:10 PM): i def don't think i was worthy, though
Epitaph2o3 (8:23:14 PM): like
Epitaph2o3 (8:23:17 PM): she liekd me
Epitaph2o3 (8:23:21 PM): she accualyl LIKED ME
Epitaph2o3 (8:23:30 PM): i never regretted being gay so much in my life
Epitaph2o3 (8:23:37 PM): i think i was about to turn straight
Alikat 545 (8:23:45 PM): what?
Epitaph2o3 (8:23:48 PM): btu then she moved on to soem other plaything
Alikat 545 (8:23:54 PM): oh sarcasm
Alikat 545 (8:24:32 PM): lol
Epitaph2o3 (8:24:50 PM): i guess she came to her senses
Epitaph2o3 (8:24:54 PM): and noticed how unworthy i am
Epitaph2o3 (8:25:03 PM): but, im glad
Epitaph2o3 (8:25:11 PM): cause i would have never been able to pelase her
Epitaph2o3 (8:25:14 PM): not like i know dan can
Epitaph2o3 (8:25:21 PM): cause dan is just like her
Epitaph2o3 (8:25:26 PM): perfect in every way
Alikat 545 (8:25:50 PM): and they make such an ATTRACTIVE couple!!!
Epitaph2o3 (8:26:08 PM): OMG I KNOW
Epitaph2o3 (8:26:15 PM): FUCK Brangelina
Epitaph2o3 (8:26:26 PM): Lizan
Epitaph2o3 (8:26:31 PM): is 10x better
Alikat 545 (8:26:37 PM): Diz
Epitaph2o3 (8:26:43 PM): no, liz has to be first
Epitaph2o3 (8:27:01 PM): cause as flawless as they both are, i think liz might be slightly better
Epitaph2o3 (8:27:08 PM): (and diz acaulyl sounds cool)
Epitaph2o3 (8:27:31 PM): thank you, allie
Epitaph2o3 (8:27:36 PM): for listening to my rant
Epitaph2o3 (8:27:39 PM): i had fun doing it
Monday, May 29th, 2006
7:40 pm
i love flags
im associated with five
they are as follows:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

and yes, i am technically a pirate because i pirate my music, its not there just cause it looks cool :)
Thursday, May 25th, 2006
4:15 pm
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell
Did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
Saturday, May 13th, 2006
7:14 pm
I want to work at a carwash now
is that wierd?
i hope not.
i also want to learn how to cook. does that heighten my homosexuality? no?
Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
6:43 pm
Why did i make this? I guess i was just bored of my other sites.
also, i feel the compelling urge to stalk Airy and Angela.
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